this boy done got me sprung....
2004-02-26 - 11:09 p.m.
Okay, it's official. This boy got me more sprung than a bedspring. I'm talking about "the boy.�
This is a really long entry, btw.
This boy got me feeling so crazy and in love. I was looking up love in the American Heritage Dictionary and it said "A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.� I don't say that I love people often. The only people that I truly love are my APO bruhs, my family, and Hawaii Boy (my best friend). Everyone else that I know I like. You have to be extremely careful with whom you say "I Love You" too. Love is such a strong word.
We've been knowing each other for about two years and I really got close with him. Right now I feel for him the strongest (even more than AZ and Hawaii Boy combined). Me and him have connected in so many ways. We even finish each other thoughts and I'm his muse for his rap lyrics. He wants to be a rapper someday and I'm helping him with his lyrics. As for me, he really wants me to become the first "mulatto" president eventually, lol. He said he'll be my side all the way through. He'll protect me and be my bodyguard and he'll take care of me. (He kept emphasizing that he wants to protect my body, haha) I felt so special that day and went back to my room cheesin'.
So I got him really interested in politics now. He wants me to teach him everything about the political process. He wanted to know what was going on with the presidential election, democrats vs. republicans, and whether or not he's liberal, moderate or republican. C.N.U. is a very conservative school and since he doesn't like the school president (Pres. Trible used to be a U.S. Senator, R-VA) he automatically said he was moderate. I think he's leaning toward liberal though. It's so much fun teaching him politics because I'm using the knowledge that I gained over the past three years and pouring it into him.
So yesterday we were chillin' in our "spot" in the admin (everyone couldn't believe that we have a spot in the admin building & very few people found it) and I was helping him with his rhymes and everything for about an hour and then we were chillin' downstairs and that's when I gave him a government 101 lesson, haha. Then he asked me if I wanted a ride back to my room and I was like "Sure? Why Not?" And guess what he played on the way back? "Lucifer" and "Encore,� the two songs that he never stops singing. So I get out the car, go back to my room, talk on AIM, then I call up Goddess and talk about him. Next thing you know, he beeps over and tells me he's downstairs. I beep back over to her and was I like, "Yo I gotta bounce; my man's here?" and she was like "go head girl, do your thang,� lol. So we chilled in my room, listening to Jay-Z, he was writing lyrics, and he was reading my textbook for my African Studies class (he likes my textbooks for some odd reason, lol) and we were about to get close when diva sticks her big head and was like "what's up?" It was all good but after that I closed the door b/c I wanted no more interruptions. So after that we just talked about "other things" and I got on his lap, he was holding me and he kept brainstorming up more lyrics and I was helping him rhyme. I love being his inspiration. It seems like every time he's with me, he bugs me for a pen and some paper so that he can write some lyrics. My presence must be influential his life.
We also planned my political career. He was like "Well I want me and you to go to Florida" and I was like well I had to live in the state that I want to represent for a couple of years. So I told him that I wanted to go back to New York and become the borough president of Queens, then work my way up to Attorney General, and then become a Senator. He was so disappointed that I had to wait until I was 30 to run for office. I saw the sadness in his eyes. He even told me that he wants me to rep. Hawaii in the future. He wanted me to start campaigning right after school and I thought that was so cute. (He went into the military after high school.) I forgot to mention that we should go to New York after I graduate, since New York is the rap capital of the world. His lyrics are so smooth. He also told me that he was bragging about me to his friends. I was like, he really cares about me. How many guys brag to their friends about a girl and don�t like them & then he comes back and tell me that he brags about me to his boys? Come on now. He even hugs me in front of them, and that's what I'm talking about.
You know what I'm pissed at? Ok, the lights were out, the door was closed, I was on the bed, he was sitting at front of me looking dead at me, my laptop light was on, and I wanted to get it on, but I had another visitor by the name of Flo that came through to say "whassup.� I hate Flo. She's so, so cruel. She seems to come when he stops by and I hate it. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, lol. We chilled for about an hour and a half, and he left but before he left I gave him and a kiss and a hug. (He is soo huggable and kissable, lol)
He wanted to come home with me to Queens but he has to work next week. I planned on spending Tuesday with him next week so that he won't be so lonely. Any ideas as what I should get him for a souvenir? He wants something very "New York-ish.�
I and he connect so much. Heck, me and him have lunch together and read Essence and Ebony together in the lounge. We even got into a heated discussion on the Bible yesterday and how God created the world & how evolution is nothing but bull. This boy has done so much for me. He goes out of his way to do things for me. He even helped me get an "A" on my paper (I wrote a paper on whether or not marijuana should be legalized for my state & local govt. class and he even found my sources). He taught me some things about life I didn't know before. He is very wise for his age. (He turned 23 last October) And I can say that "I love him.� Wow . . .
P.S. My refund check came in the mail today!!! Woo-hoo!!! Time to get that pink Baby Phat coat that I've been eyeing for a while, a new cell phone plan, paying off my credit card debt, and spoiling my boy as well as saving for summer school. Yay! :)
�
Baby, I can't see my worth (I can't see) living here on
God's green earth, you don't know what
you've done to me, (done to me) I never thought
I'd need you desperately, (desperately) it's kind
of sick how I'm stuck on you(stuck on you)
but I don't care cause I'm needing you (I'm needing you)
and how I feel will remain the same (remains the same)
cause you're my baby, (cause you�re my baby)
listen and when the world starts to stress me out,
(where I run) it's to your boy without
a doubt (you're the one) who keeps me sane and I can't complain
(can't complain) you're like a
drug you relieve my pain (may seem strange)
you're like the blood flowing through my vain, (oooo)
keeps me alive and feeding my brain,
(oooo) now this is how another human life (other life) could
have the power to take over mine cause you�re my baby
~Baby by Ashanti (This song shows my true feelings toward him right now)
I wanna be like those girls in the movies,
to have a man so in love it makes him drop to his
knees she's even on his mind while he's asleep at night
Cause that's the feeling you've given.
This is what I want to happen: Ashanti - Movies
okay, off to dream sweet dreams about "the boy" . . .