to give it up or not
2004-03-26 - 12:52 a.m.
Man I am in the mood like some other people reading this right now.... they know who they are, haha...
The questions are:
1) Do I want to lose my virginity?
2) Who do I want to give it up to?
Yes, I'm 20 and I'm still one, yay for me. :) But there are some times that I want to give it up. I kept it on lock for 20 years now; guys been trying to put a "key in the lock" since the tender age of 11 but I always resisted. Resisting was the only thing to do. WTF would I be doing having sex at 11? I always wanted to save myself for my husband when I was younger but it's getting harder and harder for me everyday. There's a part of me that wants to give it up but then there's a part of me that's like "Save yourself for your husband; the gift u have is worth more than anything else in the world that u could give him"... I've been contemplating and contemplating about this and chances are that I'm not going to go all the way.. maybe really close... I have so much tension in me and doing things like making out with my guy helps me "release it" all. I really wanted to lose it to "The boy" but now I don't b/c he isn't a virgin and he's about to leave school and I don't know where he's going. I'm not even thinking about AZ and Hawaii Boy b/c they're saving themselves and have been saving themselves all their lives.
What to do, what to do... this is so frustrating... I hate making tough decisions and this is a verrry tough decision and when I get thrown into the real world on May 7, 2005 I'll be making more tough decisions... this is just the beginning...I just feel like that I had to vent out about this topic that's been puzzling my brain for the past couple of months... P.S. It would also help if I'd stop listening to Floetry, Joe, and Avant too right about now but I don't feel like it :-p I'm really feeling Floetry and Musiq right now; got their music on heavy rotation on my MusicMatch jukebox.....